So, it turns out there are days in sobriety that are not always filled with rainbows and butterflies. In fact, some days are flat out crappy, fraught with moments of self deprication, low self esteem, and, in some cases, hopelessness. Sound familiar? Have you had a day like that?

I was having one of those days recently. The day started out with negative thoughts swirling in my head like a class 4 tornado. Of all the impugning sentiments, my personal favorite was the voice in my head telling me that helping people with addiction disorders is a waste of time and that I should resume the practice of law. Frankly, I’d rather have daily root canal procedures than go that route.

So, there I was amidst a sea of swirling negativity wondering how I was going to get through the day. I just wanted to scream “STOP!”, but I knew I needed to be a bit more proactive with my self help. Fortunately, I had the presense of mind to tap into some of the things I learned while I was in treatment.

Two concepts came to me: meditation and exercise. I decided to accomplish both by jogging on the beach for a few miles. I must confess that it was about the last thing I wanted to do. Sitting in my bedroom wallowing in self pity seemed like a more more enjoyable activity, but I decided against it.

Without further thought, I laced up my shoes and hit the sand. The first few strides felt as though I was wearing cinder blocks for shoes. But, as I kept running, my feet became lighter. My head started to clear and I found myself actually enjoying the moment. I think I was experiencing a runners “high”, one of the few acceptable highs I enjoy these days.

After about forty-five minutes of trudging through deep sand, I felt much better. My mindset shifted from self pity to gratitude. I found myself grounded in the present rather than panicking about the future. It was comforting to realize that I had the presence of mind to be able to tap into the tools I learned in treatment and salvage the day, living it with renewed enthusiasm, rather than wasting it with self pity.